I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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