I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
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