Only a mothe r could love this liver
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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