Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
