Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
