no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
