Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
