We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
You are the jesus of drinking
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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