I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
