my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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