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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  ..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..

  (1-908): View more from New Jersey

  yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  well, dont

  (720): View more from Colorado

  I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.

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• (304): View more from West Virginia

  Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it

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• (302): View more from Delaware

  Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!

  (410): View more from Maryland

  dude. im stealing that.

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• (518): View more from New York

  The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.

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  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.

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• (952): View more from Minnesota

  Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.

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