Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
