Texts From Last Night

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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Ill do this for you.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  You are a team player.

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.

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  (828): Ill do this for you. (1-828): You are a team player. (828): This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more. http://tfl.nu/hmdx
  Replies (11) Good night (3165) Bad night (607)
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  (949): View more from California

  he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment

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  (949): he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment http://tfl.nu/ipb9
  Replies (18) Good night (3767) Bad night (748)
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  (408): View more from California

  i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight

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  (408): i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight http://tfl.nu/uzvu
  Replies (19) Good night (4138) Bad night (784)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again

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  (810): I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again http://tfl.nu/a301
  Replies (7) Good night (3672) Bad night (1475)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots

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  (908): how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots http://tfl.nu/lfl0
  Replies (17) Good night (5075) Bad night (1560)
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  (949): View more from California

  The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

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  (949): The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women. http://tfl.nu/zhxo
  Replies (22) Good night (6621) Bad night (3279)
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  (619): View more from California

  Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex

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  (619): Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex http://tfl.nu/ckpn
  Replies (15) Good night (3457) Bad night (1200)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.

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  (613): Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day. http://tfl.nu/hbn0
  Replies (4) Good night (2283) Bad night (1216)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.

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  (219): Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills. http://tfl.nu/rh2h
  Replies (5) Good night (2750) Bad night (855)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.

  (1-304): View more from West Virginia

  Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.

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  (304): I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us. (1-304): Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat? (304): No there was a goat. I gave it a donut. http://tfl.nu/bds8
  Replies (15) Good night (6719) Bad night (1188)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.

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  (904): He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer. http://tfl.nu/iriu
  Replies (10) Good night (2472) Bad night (845)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.

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  (425): The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned. http://tfl.nu/65g6
  Replies (2) Good night (839) Bad night (480)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!

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  (419): So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me! http://tfl.nu/6u48
  Replies (8) Good night (992) Bad night (454)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers

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  (267): This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers http://tfl.nu/wazn
  Replies (6) Good night (1497) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker

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  (617): well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker http://tfl.nu/t0fs
  Replies (5) Good night (539) Bad night (333)

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