I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
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My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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