2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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