That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
