Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (651): By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/hsj3
  Replies (14) Good night (713) Bad night (1736)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom. http://tfl.nu/h1iv
  Replies (13) Good night (808) Bad night (3278)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would be honored to be that friend.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people (617): I would be honored to be that friend. http://tfl.nu/ohrl
  Replies (22) Good night (5916) Bad night (630)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole! http://tfl.nu/ivhw
  Replies (45) Good night (5827) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple http://tfl.nu/8ojo
  Replies (60) Good night (773) Bad night (6145)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (813): I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized. http://tfl.nu/p6rg
  Replies (11) Good night (920) Bad night (3380)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that. http://tfl.nu/mbpz
  Replies (14) Good night (1745) Bad night (1248)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress' http://tfl.nu/zrhx
  Replies (4) Good night (1325) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (619): I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain. http://tfl.nu/rwko
  Replies (5) Good night (1348) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.

  (1-310): View more from California

  Shall we take a trip back?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times. (1-310): Shall we take a trip back? http://tfl.nu/btgk
  Replies (6) Good night (1850) Bad night (506)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times. http://tfl.nu/siml
  Replies (8) Good night (2272) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band

  (312): View more from Illinois

  Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band (312): Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume http://tfl.nu/sqqx
  Replies (19) Good night (2759) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (702): By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set http://tfl.nu/1rax
  Replies (12) Good night (1266) Bad night (803)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.

  (951): View more from California

  Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (714): Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate. (951): Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day. http://tfl.nu/xq5q
  Replies (5) Good night (1176) Bad night (273)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.

  (1-706): View more from Georgia

  You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Touche.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid. (1-706): You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man. (706): Touche. http://tfl.nu/xj0m
  Replies (4) Good night (821) Bad night (281)

Randomize