my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she told me i tasted like america
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall