Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch