Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
