Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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