I could have mohawked her pubes.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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