'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
