Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
