what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize