happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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