Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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