And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
