I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
