Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
