My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
