girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
