It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
