Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
