I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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