Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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