Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
