but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
