trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize