my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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