Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize