Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
