when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
