I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
