If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
