I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
