but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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