He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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