Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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