Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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