maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize