It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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