i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize