So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
