Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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