Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
