Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize