he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
i think i just lost a toe
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize