just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
