i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize
