he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
