Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
