I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
