I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
