so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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